ZIM Must DIE
by Nina Elric
Summary: Zim's finally gone too far. The Tallest are so sick of him that they have enlisted the help of an unlikely character. But as with anything, complications ensue making the single order difficult to carry out.
1. Episode 1

**ZIM Must DIE**

**Episode 1: Detention**

The silvery light of the moon crept in through his open window and laid itself across his legs. It was happy there, sharing it's time with the sleeping form. A gentle smile crept across the boy's lips as the warm summer night's air blew across his exposed skin. It was peaceful now, but it wouldn't be this way for much longer.

"DIB!" the familiar holler of his name in crescendo roused him from his sleep, "WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS FINISH MY CEREALS?! THIS WAS THE LAST BOX OF FRANKENCHOKIES IN THE HOUSE!"

"Sorry, Gaz," he yawned as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Do you have a death wish?" she said rather calmly from her seat across the table.

"Not really," he sighed.

"THEN STAY OUT OF MY CEREAL!"

"Yes, Gaz."

This was normal. Normal of his family at least. He sighed as he sat down at the table and drank nothing but orange juice. Today would just be another day, just like all the others.

Grabbing his backpack, he headed out the door with his sister to catch the school bus. As he got on, he saw that familiar green head at the back of the bus. He cringed as he sat down right behind the bus driver. He'd given up trying to prove to everyone that Zim was an alien. If the human race didn't want to listen to him, then they deserved whatever pathetic fate the invader had in store for them. He laughed quietly to himself as his mind wandered to a future where buildings were burning and people were screaming. All of them, flocking to him for help when all he could do was say that he had tried to warn them and that it was too late. At least in that future, he'd get some gratification out of his life.

As he got off the bus he stood back to wait for Zim. It was customary of them to walk into the school bickering over the fate of mankind, even though Dib had already lost his zest for life.

"I hate you," was all he said as the alien finally made his way off the bus.

"And I you, Dib monkey. But you, see in my plans for future conquest I will have no need for…"

_Bla bla bla…_

He was ranting again, as he always did. Dib rolled his eyes as they slowly made their way to class.

"Zim! Dib! You're both late again!"

"Yes Ms. Bitters," was all Dib said as he took his seat at the far side of the room from Zim.

"That's the sixth time this week!" she hissed. Dib fought the urge to remind his teacher that there were only five days of school a week.

"Yes Ms. Bitters…" Was all he said.

"As a result, you will both serve twenty-four hours of detention this weekend starting Friday after class."

"Yes Ms. Bitters…"

"DETENTION! Zim has no time for detention!"

"You shoulda thought of that before coming to class late."

"But… But… My plans! They will fail with me gone for so long!"

"Oh shut up, Zim. You know full well that nothing will happen in twenty hours."

"Yes but what if my Ta…" he caught himself, "My… bosses call! I have work this weekend, you know…" he said as he folded his hands on his desk.

"Then you will tell them that you are an inefficient whelp and that you will not be attending work due to your failure to attend class."

Zim opened his mouth to speak again, but Ms. Bitters had already begun her lesson on the death of society as a whole.

It never seemed to end. Instead of watching Zim and whatever grotesque experiments he was performing right in front of the rest of the class, Dib gazed out the window. The green grass, the yellow sun, the blue sky, the scattered white clouds… If Zim ever got his way, all of that would be gone. Dib sighed quietly as he let his head sink to his desk. He was tired. Tired of everything. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if mankind was wiped from existence. Yeah… then he'd finally be able to not care about anything at all…

Five hours after school finally ended, Dib made his way home. It was dark out, but the streetlamps helped guide his way. He dropped his backpack in the doorway as he dragged himself up the stairs to bed. He collapsed silently in his bed so as not to disrupt his sleeping family that was his sister. Sleep came quickly to him, but as usual, it didn't last nearly long enough…

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**A/N: **WTF? Invader Zim? Yes, yes it is. I've rediscovered my love of ZIM so I felt like doing a fic. Seems kinda awkward to start with, but it'll get better... I hope... If not, I'll just remove it so I can refine it a bit better. But for now, any and all comments are welcome. I have a second chapter, but that needs more work before it's readable... Sheesh... Myabe I just suck at writing... PS: i have never read any IZ fanfics so i have no idea if this has been done before, but if so, I hope my version is different enough to pass as descent. 


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2: Meeeeaaaattt…**

Far away from the tiny planet earth loomed the dreaded force that was the Irken Armada. Surrounding a newly conquered planed, the fleet began their work bombarding the planet until all life was extinguished, or at least enough of it to not cause a problem for the following break down and reconstruction of the planet's surface into an ice skating rink.

At the head of the Armada towered the behemoth that was the Massive; the finest example of the combined technologies of both Irken and Vortian design. A monster that could tear down anything that stood in its way. A feared image of the empire and its immense force. At the helm of this beast sat the two rulers of the Irken Empire. Reclined in posh chairs, they sat watching the bombarding of the planet before them with glee and a bag of popcorn between them.

"Hmm…" one of them sighed as he noticed the empty state of the bag, "Looks like we're out…"

"I'll send someone to get some more," the other responded.

"Nah, I think I'll go myself."

"Suite yourself."

Red reclined back in his chair as Purple hovered off the bridge.

Purple always felt as though it were a mini adventure to go down the halls to the hatches that concealed his much coveted snacks. All he had to do was put in the pass code and the doors would slide open to reveal the treasures within. As he reached the first door, he typed in the code.

_One, two, three…_

Like a kid in a candy shop, the Tallest pushed the button that would open the door to his never ending snacks. The door shot open, but it wasn't snacks that met his gaze. Closing the door in shock, he paused a moment to catch his breath. Once he had regained his composure, he opened the door once more. The same horror met his gaze. Panic began to fill him, but he calmed it in order to make it down the hall to the next pod.

_One… Two… Three…_

Once more the door slid open and the thing of nightmares filled the space that should have held his snacks. A small shriek slipped form his lips, but he bit them to contain the noise. Thank goodness there were still two more pods.

Down the hall and across a board walk that lead him over a floor laden in wires and tubing, Tallest Purple reached the door to the third pod.

With shaking fingers, he typed in the code once more and with a jerk he pressed the button that opened the pod's door. More… more of that horrific substance… This was beyond any nightmare…

True fear finally began to fill the Tallest. He wanted to call out for help, but he had to be sure that there were truly no snacks aboard, even if that meant having a melt down; it was for the good of the Empire, after all.

Heading back in the direction of the bridge, he reached the last hatch. The pain and agony was too much for him to bear so he hastily plugged the numbers in and slammed the button. The door slid open only to confirm his deepest fears.

As he fell to the floor in utter agony, he let out a terrible scream.

On the bridge, Red heard the sound of his companion's voice echoing through the halls of the Massive. It bothered him a bit at how shrill and almost pained the sound was, but he kept his cool knowing full well that it was Purple he was dealing with.

"What now…" he mumbled as he wandered off the bridge.

Heading down the hall to where Purple's shrill cry had come from, he found the other Tallest lying on the floor in a fetal position rocking back and forth mumbling the same thing over and over.

Red knelt down beside him, placing his fingers on his shuddering shoulder.

"What's wrong, Purple?"

The fear was evident in his voice.

"It's gone…" his companion moaned, "All gone… Gone… Gone away… Away… All gone…"

"What is? Purple," he barked as he propped his comrade up in his lap, "What's gone?"

"So… much…"

"So much what?!"

"So… much………… Mmmmmeeeeeaaaaattttt…"

"M…m…" Red couldn't seem to form the word I his mouth.

"Mmmmmeeeeaaaatttt…"

"M-Meat?"

"Mmmmeeeeaaatttt…" was all Purple said with a weak nod.

Looking up from the weak form on the floor, Red's gaze was cast upon the storage pod. Inside it was a horror to behold. Meat was laden on ever shelf. Meat covered every inch of flooring. Meat was piled ceiling high. Meat was where their snacks should have been… Meat… All kinds of meat… Terrible horrible evil meat…

"MEEEEEEAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!" the Tallest roared as he dropped Purple to the floor.

Hovering to his feet he followed the reverse of Purple's path only to have his own fears confirmed. All of the snacks aboard the massive were gone and replaced with meat. Fear, anger, rage, and, most of all, hatred filled the Tallest's eyes. He knew who was responsible for this. He knew who it was who's face would show up on the screen with a dumb look of success on his face. He knew which green headed midget would dare mess with the Tallest.

"Ziiimmm…" he hissed. His antennae sat flat against his head as the name slipped from between his gritted teeth.

Sure enough, that same message came over the intercom.

"My Tallest, there is a call from earth, should I block it?"

"No…" Red snarled, "Put him on hold… I wanna to talk to that little… Fffff…"

"Yessir." The voice from the intercom cut off his final word.

Making his way back to Purple he found the other Tallest back in a fetal position, shaking pathetically on the floor. With a sigh, he propped his companion onto his feet so he could drag him hovering back onto the bridge. Placing Purple back in the chair muttering to himself, Red gave the signal for the communications officer to open the channel.

And there it was; the grinning face of Zim.

"Mmmmeeeeaaattt…" the tallest beside him mumbled.

"My Tallest," he began with a composure that denoted that he had no idea that what he had done was wrong, "I hope my gift finds you well."

"Gift, Zim?" he growled through gritted teeth.

"Yes, I took the liberty of sending My Tallest a contribution from Earth."

"And, what would that be, Zim?"

"Why the meat, Sirs. I figured that my facilities here on Earth could not efficiently research the antidote necessary to stop my reactions to the vile MEATS this world has to offer so I sent them to you. I was hopping that you could send those FILTHY meats to one of our research planets and have them come up with something that could make it easier for me to blend in with the FILTHY… huuuuumans…"

"What about our snacks, Zim?"

"Anyhow," the tiny Irken continued, "If you could do that for me, that'd be great."

"MMMEEEAAATTTTSSSS!!!!" Tallest Purple hollered exceptionally loudly.

"Eh? … Is he okay?"

"No, Zim, he isn't! You took our snacks and replaced them with…"

Seeming not to hear a word his leaders were saying, Zim hastily replied: "Well I'm glad everything is alright with My Almighty Tallest, Invader Zim, signing off." Before signing off entirely.

And with that, the screen was replaced with the scenery of the bombarded planet rather than Zim's face. Fury mounted inside the Tallest. That was it. This was the last straw…

"Meat…"

Zim had crossed the line for the last time…

"Meat…"

He finally broke the camel's back…

"Meeeeaaaattt…"

It was no more playing Mr. Nice Guy with that little creep.

"Mmmmmeeeaaatttt…"

The red Tallest stood in the silence of the bridge, with only the gibbering of his companion piercing his blinding rage.

"That's it!" he hollered as he slammed his gauntlet into the armrest of a nearby chair, "That's it! I'm done with that… that…"

"Mmmmmmeeeeeeeeaaaaaaatttttt…"

"That imposter… He isn't an Invader and I think it's time we made that clear…"

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt…"

"Make a note of it!" he shouted as he turned to one of the techs behind him, "The so called 'Invader' Zim is hereby wanted by the Irken Empire. Dead or alive!"

"Mmmmmeeeeeaaaat…"

"Yessir."

"That's it…" he hissed one more time, "Zim must die…"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!"

"Meat…" Red groaned along with his companions insane screaming.

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**A/N: **A warning to all reading, you must be familiar with ALL the episodes of IZ, especially the unaired ones in order for the rest of this fic to make sense... In particular, Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars... I warned you so it's fair game now, not that I think it'll be a problem. Oh and thanks again for making the first chapter a hit. That was the most feedback I've ever gotten for a freshly posted story. So just stick with it unless it really sucks beyond all reason, then just tell me... : P 


	3. Episode 3

Episode 3 – A Common Foe

It was over. Finally, it was over. Dib's weekend detention had come to an unsatisfying conclusion as did every day of his young life. His knees ached from kneeling on the uneven tiled floor for four solid hours. His ears rang as Zim's voice finally began ebbing from his mind. Only twenty minutes ago had he been released from the cloistered school house. Ms. Bitters had chosen to seal the building shut as they used toxic chemicals to scrub the floors of the school with their own toothbrushes. Their teacher had used some kind of DNA detection device to make sure their brushes were they're own and because Zim complained so much, they had to bring their brushes in again on Monday so Ms. Bitters could make sure they had brushed their teeth with them in the morning. Dib sighed. He'd just come to be indifferent when it came to the pain and trouble that green terror got him into. When they were finally released, he and Zim both ran for lives from the building. At the end of the walk, Dib looked back to find Ms. Bitters glowing red eyes looming in the doorway. It was strange how truly demonic his teacher was. As he turned back, he found Zim screaming into a microphone that extended from his back pack.

"Gir!" he screamed, "Come and get your master, ZIM, from his human imprisonment."

"I'll get a cab!" a voice came back over the com.

"No, Gir, just come and get me."

"But I gots me a coupon…"

"NO! just use your jets to come and get me!"

A series of shrill screams came over the microphone. With a cringe, Zim gave in.

"Fine, Gir, just get a cab and…"

"YAY!" and the line went dead.

Dib looked back just to see if Ms. Bitters had seen any of what just happened, but of course, she was nowhere to be found and the school was closed back up. With a heavy sigh, Dib began to make his way home where he looked forward to collapsing into his bed only to get up in the morning for school.

It was about ten at night when he finally made his way into his dark home.

"Where have you been?" his sister sneered.

"Detention," was all he said.

"Oh yeah," she sighed, "You had detention with Zim. How was it?" she teased.

"Horrible."

"Hm. Guess you're going to bed now, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Check your computer before you do. It's been making weird noises all night and it's making me very angry," she cringed.

"Yeah okay."

"You better or I'll go in and destroy it. I would have done that already, but I felt like telling you first."

"Thanks, Gaz."

"Whatever," she groaned as she slipped back into the shadows of the house.

With a sigh, Dib made his way up into his room where he heard his computer clicking and beeping.

"What now," he growled as he sat down at his desk.

He moved the mouse a bit to turn off the screen saver which happened to be a blue-print of Zim's base that drifted across his screen. As soon as his desktop was restored, an Irken seal appeared on his screen. Dib pushed himself back a bit and looked around his room.

"Great," he hissed, "What the heck did Zim do now…"

"He's on," he heard a voice say from inside his computer.

"Hello?" he said back slowly.

"Put him on screen," a voice commanded.

Just a second later his screen shifted to view the interior of the Irken master ship, the Massive. Before him hovered one of the leaders of the empire.

"Hello, Dib…"

"What do you want?" he shrieked.

"Nothing, much."

"Then why are you calling me? Isn't it, like, unkosher or something to make familiarities with the enemy?"

"I have to be honest, Dib. The empire has no desire for the conquest of earth," his red eyes turned to slits.

"How can you say that when you sent Zim here to destroy it?"

"Our apologies, really. It seems we miscalculated when we provided Zim with his coordinates."

"What? What kind of game are you playing?"

"Zim isn't an invader, Dib. He is an exiled member of the empire, as shameful as that is. He has disturbed the progress of the empire one too many times. I myself have issued a document calling for the apprehension of this imposter. The empire holds no stock in Zim and his elimination would only aide in our conquest of the universe."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Dib sighed as he sat back in his chair. "It doesn't matter. No one believes that he's even an alien."

"But you know, don't you?" the red tallest cocked his head back a bit revealing a toothy grin.

"Yes…" Dib said slowly.

"And you know his weaknesses?" he leaned forwards again.

"Yeah, but…"

"But you don't have the technology to truly destroy him, right?"

"I… guess?"

"Listen, I have a proposition for you. Help us get rid of Zim and we'll remove earth from the Irken map."

"But you already said you didn't want earth…"

"Yes, but as long as it exists on our sensors, it will be monitored. As soon as any planet reaches a certain stage of development, it is fair game for the empire to invade. As slow minded as your people are, they will eventually catch up to our standards. Comply with my request to apprehend Zim, and earth will be wiped from our data bases never to be disturbed by the mighty Irken Empire ever again."

"I suppose…"

"Think about it, Dib. We share a common foe. Destroy Zim and maybe you'll get the respect you truly deserve from the people of your world. That and an exemption from the conquest of our empire."

_Respect._ That was the magic word for Dib. What was there to lose at this point? He was already a laughing stock, but if he managed to save the world from Zim, then maybe, maybe he would finally be revered by the rest of the moronic population of earth.

"Think about it," Tallest Red repeated once more before the transmission was terminated.

Dib sat back in his chair. A spark had lit up inside him. An opportunity had been presented to him unlike any before. Still, he couldn't help but consider the possibilities of there being a catch or an underlying intent to the Tallest's request. He couldn't be too sure, not yet…

* * *

**A/N:** Holy Crap I'm writing again! I doubt this'll get as good a response as the original chapters because it took too long for me to get it up. Oh well, I'm just happy it's done. The chapter I mean. To those that do read and review, thank you. And to those returning to it, I thank you for your patience. 


	4. Episode 4

Episode 4: Vortian Surprise

Far off on one of the Jovian moons lay a camp of misfits. Bent on the destruction of the mighty Irken Empire, the Resisty struggled to get by in this foreign place. The moon had proved to be accommodating for the most part. Since the destruction of their lone fleet ship, they had resorted to hiding in a linked colony of their escape pods. It was a sham of an existence, but it was one none the less and as long as they existed even in this pitiful state, there was still hope for the downfall of the Empire.

Inside the main chamber sat the Vortian leader of the only "organized" anti-Irken movement. Since they came to this place, they had been monitoring radio transmissions for it had come apparent to them after watching the Massive nearly careen with it that the blue planet that lay so far away was some sort of key to the overall invasion plan.

"Sir, we're picking up a long distance transmission coming from the Massive."

"So what?" he complained, "We know they have one of their Invaders on that planet…"

"But sir, the transmission wasn't received by an Irken signature…"

"Oh?" the Vortian commander sat up in his make-shift command chair.

"It was picked up and responded to by a human device."

"Is that so? Try to tap the call."

After a series of frantic typing movements the communications officer sighed.

"We can't, it's locked."

"Fine then. Once they're done, we'll make a little transmission of our own…" He clasped his fingers as he sat back in his chair.

"Sir?"

"We'll send a call of our own to the same receiver in order to draw come kind of conclusion as to what interest the Empire has with a simple human life form."

"Yessir."

The officers returned to their duties as Lord Nar looked down at his lap.

"This could be the event we needed to get ourselves back on our feet. Back to warding off the Empire…" he mumbled to himself.

"Sir?" the officer beside him said.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

With a nod, the officer returned to his station.

"This is indeed very interesting…" he mumbled with a sneer on his face. "Beware, Tallest, the Resisty is on to you..."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay this is just a short introductory chapter. If you aren't familiar with the Resisty or Lord Nar, I recommend you find a copy of Backseat Drivers form Beyond the Stars (best episod EVER) and give it a look. This was only meant to set up the up coming Vortian interference that will make everything oh so very interesting! FYI: It's finally getting good lol. So, stay with me! I plan on pumping out another chapter sometime soon! And I mean soon, not six months from now... Oh and sorry for the heavy dialogue, but it just HAD to be there **;p**


	5. Episode 5 from beyond the grave

**A/N**: Its been over a year but in my defense real life tends to trump things related to the internet. Starting grad work so things will come as they will. I won't make any promises as to deadlines, but if you're returning to this after all this time I offer you a huge apology and my deepest gratitude for coming back. If you're new, please go ahead and alert this if you like it but don't get your hopes up for regular updates (they will be sporadic at best). They will come as I uncover my hand-written transcripts and begin to make decisive trends in the plot so that I can actually begin to understand where I want to go with this. I will say the following: I WILL complete this... I have a lot of it already drafted, I just need time to put it together in some logical order. After this chapter things should get a lot easier for me to organize. A few things remain sketchy, but I'm sure the fic will work them out on its own. They tend to develop minds of their own beyond my control. Once again, hope this doesn't suck too bad. I've got some break time so maybe between this and my other fic I'll get some real stuff going. But again, please don't hold your breath, I'd hate to be responsible for someone's death by asphyxiation. **.**

* * *

**Episode 5 (from beyond the grave): One Tall Order**

About a week after the cryptic message from the Tallest, Dib found himself alone in his house on a sunny Saturday morning. This wasn't unusual. His father was never around anyway, and Gaz was up to... something... He didn't know and he didn't really care. Having the house to himself let him spread his work out of his room. He sat in the living room, the morning sun shining through the window. The light caused glares on his lap top. Irritated at its presence, Dib closed the blinds and effectively blocked out the sun. As he sat down to work on his computer, the phone rang. Growling at the continuous interruptions, Dib got up and walked over to the phone.

"Residence of Professor Membrane," he mumbled into the receiver.

He was met with nothing but silence.

"Hello?"

A series of odd dial tones came through the phone. They became increasingly loud until he found himself buckling over in pain, releasing the phone from his grip. A sharp shrieking sound came out of the phone before it fell silent. There was a click and the line went dead.

"What the..." Dib breathed as he stood up, picking the phone from off the floor, "what was that?"

Suddenly, countless conspiracy theories erupted into Dib's mind. He began to panic. He was being watched, he knew it. Something was going to happen. Those sounds weren't random, they couldn't have been... Something was very wrong. The air in the house began to feel heavy and stale. Dib's chest heaved as he began to hyperventilate. Insanity was creeping into the forefront of his mind. His downward spiral into lunacy was abruptly halted when the doorbell rang.

"Huh," he said as if he was unaware of his prior mental deficiency, "Wonder who that could be?"

Dib walked from the kitchen over to the front door. He peered through the porthole and saw a tall, skinny man standing outside. He was wearing a white jump suit and a white cap on his head and sunglasses over his eyes. There was a large, white, unmarked delivery truck behind him. He was staring at the clip board he held in his hand. Dib stepped back as he opened the door.

"Hello?"

"Dib?" the delivery man's voice was oddly familiar.

"Uh, yes?" Dib was honestly unsure of how to react to this.

"Package for one, Dib. Sign here, please," he turned the clip board to Dib and pointed at a line with a pen before handing it to the boy.

"Who's it from?" Dib asked slowly as he signed his name on the line.

"Put it this way kid, you have friends in high places," the delivery man nodded as he tucked the clip board under his arm and walked over to the truck.

Dib cautiously stepped outside, what the hell was going on? The guy in the jump suit went to the back of the truck. He could hear a faint set of beeps right before the back of the truck practically burst open. Another guy dressed the same as the first one, stepped out of the cab of the truck. He made his way to the back on the opposite side of the vehicle. Once they were both staring into the back of the truck hear could hear the men say, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Its as good as any at this point. Unless you have a better plan? Although at this point it would be a bit too late to say anything," the man with the clipboard replied.

"No, I don't have a better plan, but are you sure about this?"

"Just shut up and put your signature in," Clipboard guy snarled.

They both reached into the back of the truck. After about a minute they stepped away. Dib's eyes widened as he watched a series of mechanized lifts made their way out of the back of the van. They floated, laden with all kinds of technology he couldn't even begin to fathom. They were silent as they moved past him and into the house.

"What... What is all this?"

Clipboard guy walked over to him. This time he had a huge book in his hand.

"Here's a primer," he said simply as he dropped the book into Dib's hands.

"Irken for Idiots?" Dib read aloud.

"Might need to know the language to operate the machinery," Clipboard guy breathed as he leaned against the side of the house.

"Who... Who are you?" Dib looked up slowly from the cover of the book.

"Me? Why," he lifted the hat from his head to reveal thick red locks, "I'm just a friendly neighborhood delivery guy.

"Me too," said the other one as he walked up beside Clipboard guy.

That voice was familiar too. Dib sat in silence as he watched the flat beds of alien technology make its way into his home. He searched his enormous mind for some recollection of who those voices belonged to. He then looked around the street, much to his lack of surprise, no one had noticed what was going on. No one ever noticed anything. Obliviousness was humanity's championed trait. He sighed as he looked back down at the book in his hands. That was when it came to him. He looked up suddenly at the sheer power of the revelation. He turned slowly to face the two delivery guys. He could see Clipboard guy's red eyes under his sunglasses. As he leaned forward a bit, he could see purple ones under the other delivery guy's shaded lenses. He was sure now.

"You're... You're..." Dib was having trouble using his words.

"Delivery men, yes," Clipboard guy finished his statement.

Dib nodded, understanding what the subtext of the response had been.

They spent about an hour sitting outside in silence. Dib sat on the stoop of his home now that the delivery traffic had finally come to an end. The two delivery guys sat on the ground leaning against the side of his house. Turned out Dib was a quick learner. Irken almost seemed like second nature to him after only an hour of studying. He felt something lightly tap his back. He turned to find an empty dolly gently trying to push past him. He stood up and to the side to allow a long line of flat beds to file out of his house. Once the last one was out the delivery men stood up.

"Well, its all installed, up to you to figure it out now," Clipboard guy said as he began walking to the back of the truck.

Dib nodded in silence.

"Remember," Clipboard guy called from behind the truck, "Business first." He slammed the back of the truck shut and both of the delivery men got back into the cab.

The engine started and the vehicle pulled out of his driveway and drove down the street out of his sight. Dib stood a moment in continued silence before turning to go back into his house. Nothing looked that different off the bat. But as he made his way to his room, the smell of new computer wafted into the hall. He opened the door and stepped in. His room was now filled with a cacophony of mechanical instruments. None of which Dib had any idea of how to use. Amongst it all sat his old desk top. It looked like outdated garbage in comparison to his new alien technology. Dib looked once more at the book at his hands. He sighed as he sat on his bed.

"This is going to take a lot of work..." he said quietly.

He looked around again at all the machinery. Wires and tubing dangled from all over. It was like they had tried to cram a lot of stuff into a tiny space. His roof and walls were covered in the new devices. His window was obscured by a large screen. The only thing left untouched was a corner of his desk and his unmade bed. He laid back on it and clutched the book to his chest. Regardless of what he did with this "gift" he was now in possession of the most powerful computer system on earth. He grinned a nerdy grin as he became fully aware of the gravity of what he had just received. Sure he'd eliminate Zim, but what about the rest of the Irken Empire? How ironic it could be if he destroyed them with their own technology. First things first, though. It was time for Zim to pay. A maniacal gleam crept into Dib's eyes. He sat up and slammed the door to his room.

"Time for a crash course," he spat as he slammed the book on what was left of his desk space.

Dib spent the rest of the weekend vigorously studying the Irken manual.


End file.
